Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: The humble owner of the springfield Kwik-E-Mart
Vs
Moe Szyslak: The bartender who owns the bar, Moe's
Who is deadliest
Moe is walking around the springfield dump looking for anything valuable. He spots a diamond sitting in amongst an pile of rubbish. He goes to fetch it when suddenly a bullet flies past his head. He turns and sees apu standing at the far end of the dump with a assault rifle in hand. Moe takes out his trusty double barrel shotgun and fires at apu but the spread is too far to hit him. Apu fires another few shots at moe but they all miss. Moe then chages at apu, trying to close the distance between them. Apu tries to hit him again but the bullets just fly past moe's head. Moe (Having closed the distance) fires his shotgun but Apu leaps behind a pile of rubbish. He pops up and fires his assult rifle, shattering the barrel of moe's shotgun rendering it usless. This time moe leaps behind the pile of rubbish and finds a throwing axe. He throws it at apu, who blocks it with his assult rifle, destroying it in the process.
Apu tosses the rifle aside and picks up a Exucutioner's axe from the nearby pile of medival weapons and moe picks up a long sword. They both charge at one another, each swinging thier weapon at the other. As metal clashes and sparks fly, niether combatant seems to gaining an advantage. Apus manages to knook the sword out of moe's hand. He then tries to cleave him in half, but moe does a back flip and dodges it. He then runs back to the medival weapons pile and takes out a morningstar. He charges at apu and swings the mace, smashing his hand. Apu screams in pain and moe smashes him in the face with the morningstar, knocking him to the floor. As the illegal immergrant looks up all he sees is the spiked head of a morningstar, crashing down on his head.
Moe chucks the morningstar aside and goes back to the plae where he saw the diamond. He picks it up, puts it in his pocket and walks back to his bar.
Winner Moe
Moe won becuase of his training with firearms and his boxing skills.